Can I Fly?
A small kid went to his mum and asked.. mummy can i fly? .... yes you can when you grow up but only if you do not hate, envy, misuse, or do carry any bad feeling within your body.. Only then one day you'll find yourself flying... the kid was not sure of what his mum was saying as all the teachers said that a person can not fly... the kid turned to his father and asked, daddy is that true, will fly if I did what mummy just said... the father smiled and looked at his son saying yes, it is true... everything in this universe is created from energy... whenever u do a bad thing on purpose or carry a bad feeling within u towards someone or towards yourself your soul becomes heavier and it produces negative energy, negative energy that earth wants to swallow to keep away from life... and so with every step you take the sky pushes you with your negative energy down and the ground wishes they could swallow this negative energy away, to protect the rest of the world from it... and therefore you are totally heavy on earth and can not fly... on the other hand if your soul is clear from any bad feelings it would be light producing all positive energy positive energy that is in complete harmony with the universe and all elements want to attract it because of its beauty.. and then with every step you take you will feel lifted by all the elements and shall never feel the weight or the pain and then you will be flying.... the kid then said but is not it hard to prevent those feelings... the mum said that the key is to stop for a second before embracing any bad feeling.. to stop at your own self and not at others.. remember that the phrase is never they r bad and this y i hate them... its I HATE them because... its I HATE... and I shall never hate... they time passed and the kid grew doing everything so as to fly... and one day sitting at his parents house his daughter said that she learnt today at her nursery that only birds or things with wings can fly and that human beings can not... her father then smiled and told the girl to go ask her grandparents if she can fly or not.... flying is not about spinning in the air... its about that lightness of the soul that makes each step on earth feels like a spin in the air... :)
Beauty Standards
I am one of those who seeks beauty.. I wish and try to lose weight.. but when you come to think of it, what is beauty... does it really have a standard?...
why does a girl who is naturally overweight, try her best to lose weight and feel bad cuz she is not that thin...
why does a girl who is short, has to try to always wear high heels to look "better"...
in the past curvy women where the symbol of beauty and the paintings prove my words...
in the past connected thick eyebrows were wut women seek and there are videos to prove my words..
there was a time when chubby men, were sexy cuz it referred to wealthiness and nobel..
there was a time when the afro type hair and the charleston paints where the hit...
those beauty "standards" differed all over time and I bet that what is beautifull now was not beautifull in the past..
but the question is, is it really worth?.. or is it really true?
wut if a chubby girl can not lose weight...
I for example will never ever be that petite figure, just cuz i am super tall and there fore have big bones...
so should i just go kill myself...
wut about a skinny guy, who is not all into that gym and stuff.. should we also look down at him.. saying he is not up to the "standards"
the standards are different from one person to the other... wut i c as the meaning of beauty will never be the same as u c it.. u might even c it ugly..
I won't tell u that beauty is from within, as it is always said, just cuz it will never get to u.. but trust me one day u'll know it is true...
i'll tell u this... u'll never be beautiful until u r who u r .... u need to find that person and accept it.. though it is hard.. but trust me when u love it, others will follow...
I always tried to follow the standards, the norm... and always cried on not achieving the standards of "losing weight, having a bf" and all those things that say u r beautiful....
but it is never about that... u r beautiful cuz u simply r.. each and everyone of us is beautiful the way they r, the way they truly r, u just need to believe it and let other ppl c it...
look around and think who is beautiful, u'll find that we only see beauty when we love the person in front of us... i agree that appearance differ but only for seconds... there is much more than that...
u might think that ppl would skip on knowing you cuz of ur appearance.. i'll say yes, i thought so too... but know wut it turned out that it is not due to appearance, nor discriminations its due to those radiations you gave them... those saying you think u r better than me and that is why u will not get to know me... guess what this y they did not get to know.. u just told them not to.. u told them that u think they r a snob.. they did not do it on their own..
I can only asl for an experiment if you do not believe... spend 5 days saying to ur self that u r beautiful and ppl would love to know... each morning for atleast 10 times and before you go to sleep and if u r meeting someone important... trust that it will work and see...
send the radiations saying , i am a very interesting beautiful person and would love to get to know u.... and before sending it to ppl, send it to your own self... feel it.. trust it...
Also write a list of all those who u think brings you down for that.. check if they really do or is it just u... next time they try do not give them the chance.. believe in the saying "3agb nafsy" "I like who i am"...
beauty comes only from love... so love yourself, love the ppl and let them love u... only then u will b beautiful, even more than u ever thought u r or will be...
:)))
P.S.
this piece is inspired from one of the most beautiful friends i've ever known.. and i am not saying this as a "mogamla" bss wALLAHy for true... thnxx a zillion...
I also tagged different ppl which is not my usual thing.. but i thought i wanna share this one, with the special ppl and some who i thought would understand and appreciate it...
why does a girl who is naturally overweight, try her best to lose weight and feel bad cuz she is not that thin...
why does a girl who is short, has to try to always wear high heels to look "better"...
in the past curvy women where the symbol of beauty and the paintings prove my words...
in the past connected thick eyebrows were wut women seek and there are videos to prove my words..
there was a time when chubby men, were sexy cuz it referred to wealthiness and nobel..
there was a time when the afro type hair and the charleston paints where the hit...
those beauty "standards" differed all over time and I bet that what is beautifull now was not beautifull in the past..
but the question is, is it really worth?.. or is it really true?
wut if a chubby girl can not lose weight...
I for example will never ever be that petite figure, just cuz i am super tall and there fore have big bones...
so should i just go kill myself...
wut about a skinny guy, who is not all into that gym and stuff.. should we also look down at him.. saying he is not up to the "standards"
the standards are different from one person to the other... wut i c as the meaning of beauty will never be the same as u c it.. u might even c it ugly..
I won't tell u that beauty is from within, as it is always said, just cuz it will never get to u.. but trust me one day u'll know it is true...
i'll tell u this... u'll never be beautiful until u r who u r .... u need to find that person and accept it.. though it is hard.. but trust me when u love it, others will follow...
I always tried to follow the standards, the norm... and always cried on not achieving the standards of "losing weight, having a bf" and all those things that say u r beautiful....
but it is never about that... u r beautiful cuz u simply r.. each and everyone of us is beautiful the way they r, the way they truly r, u just need to believe it and let other ppl c it...
look around and think who is beautiful, u'll find that we only see beauty when we love the person in front of us... i agree that appearance differ but only for seconds... there is much more than that...
u might think that ppl would skip on knowing you cuz of ur appearance.. i'll say yes, i thought so too... but know wut it turned out that it is not due to appearance, nor discriminations its due to those radiations you gave them... those saying you think u r better than me and that is why u will not get to know me... guess what this y they did not get to know.. u just told them not to.. u told them that u think they r a snob.. they did not do it on their own..
I can only asl for an experiment if you do not believe... spend 5 days saying to ur self that u r beautiful and ppl would love to know... each morning for atleast 10 times and before you go to sleep and if u r meeting someone important... trust that it will work and see...
send the radiations saying , i am a very interesting beautiful person and would love to get to know u.... and before sending it to ppl, send it to your own self... feel it.. trust it...
Also write a list of all those who u think brings you down for that.. check if they really do or is it just u... next time they try do not give them the chance.. believe in the saying "3agb nafsy" "I like who i am"...
beauty comes only from love... so love yourself, love the ppl and let them love u... only then u will b beautiful, even more than u ever thought u r or will be...
:)))
P.S.
this piece is inspired from one of the most beautiful friends i've ever known.. and i am not saying this as a "mogamla" bss wALLAHy for true... thnxx a zillion...
I also tagged different ppl which is not my usual thing.. but i thought i wanna share this one, with the special ppl and some who i thought would understand and appreciate it...
Originality
Other words for originality are uniqueness, creativity and being different. If you said that something is original then you mean that it has an identity of its own. That it may stand up amongst many others and yet stay different. Originality is a really hard thing to accomplish and needs many times of trials, and yet after all it may not work and may end up with a complete failure. Originality means critique, it means that some may like and others may not. But it’s a target that is worth trying and working really hard for.
Uniqueness and creativity, does not only apply to the arts, as it may seem at a first glance; it also applies to the way we dress, the way we talk and the way we act. Being original may apply to each and every aspect in people’s lives; it may be that common thing in all the identities, that one thing that brings us all together and yet differentiates us all from each other.
The question here is, would people take the risk of being original or would it be easier to follow what have already been successful? Being original does not mean bringing a new thing out of nowhere, as it always comes from a place, but it means developing or treating what is already known to be our own, to have our identity and our originality. The resources could be the same but the product should always be different.
For some reason many, if not all, have been tamed into thinking that following someone else’s original is the right, strong and successful act. This belief’s use may vary, from one person to another, but it is a common viewpoint between many people. We may find it in the way we dress, what we eat, the way we talk, the music we make and listen to, the videos we make and watch, the movies we make and view and even in the way we love.
For some reason the “western” dream became our flawless picture, the aim we try very hard to accomplish. We tend to imitate what’s western to accomplish perfection or gain the admiration of everyone. We gave up our own culture for a new polished one, though our own culture is much older and more authentic than that new one, our culture has been originated before America was even discovered. Walking in the streets or sitting somewhere when you look around, almost everything lacks originality, like it does not have any real taste or direct relation to this culture or to the inner feelings of those people around. Do not misunderstand the words, and think that hatred towards what’s western is what I am calling for, or that I do not admit that they are more improved in many things; not at all, what I call for is taking their improvements and reproducing them but within our own culture, to make them ours. It is easier to just take the thing as it is, and also safer, as adding may not always be successful; but if you taste this success only once you’ll never go back to just taking the thing as it is. Its like buying some fast food and then adding your mums home made pepper like ingredient, would not it taste better.
In defense some may think that we are not up for that, or that we cannot compete. If you come to really think of it you will find that they also took many things from our culture and reproduced it to fit theirs, or tries to make their own versions of it. They loved the belly dancing, built places in the form of the pyramids, Mohamd Mounir’s music is highly appreciated in foreign countries and if try hard enough to think you will find many other examples.
In another defense people might say that in order to be successful here you have to copycat what is western, in order to get the admiration of everyone and especially the “elite”. May be many people tend to deviate towards what is western but this is only because we did not try really hard to produce and defend what is original, and for a matter of fact many people now are deviating back towards originality, towards belly dancing instead of salsa, towards going out in hossein instead of any fancy café and the examples go on and on.
People would think that trying that in a career is a suicidal mission. When talking about a career here the first thing that comes in mind is media and art, and the first example is Shakira. Shakira no matter how different people may get and that some might not think this is a good example, but the reason she succeeded at the beginning was not purely being attractive or the clothes, but it was daring to be different and to be original, she took dancing and music and treated it with her own origins, both from the west and the east and gave us the “Shakira style in dancing”, she made her own statement.
May be the reason behind this dilemma is that we are not that attached to our culture anymore, we do not really know it, due to the fascination of the western we do not get to run into what’s ours as frequent as running into what is western, and may unconsciously we become to think that when producing something that looks western, we are producing something that is stunning and original. Something that is western could be stunning and incredible, but the thing that makes me wonder is that if have enough technicalities to reproduce something that looks as good as the west, cannot we add just a little authentic creativity and make it really as good as the west, or even better, and not only looking as good as them.
For some reason adding some authentic creativity to the thing makes it closer to the heart; it gives a special feeling. That feeling that penetrates through the surface and gives it a soul, it is like its something that can be tasted. It takes the thing from the level of Excellency to the level of originality. To the level of marking history and not only following what have already been marked in history. That feeling of ownership, like it’s yours.
Again I repeat its risky and probably would end up with failure many time before achieving success, but it is definitely worth, its history making. So its either to take the risk and the burden of being authentic and therefore be a truly creative person? Or to simply follow and be a genius in what you chose to follow.
“ Two children were together and each was given a piece of paper and a pencil and asked for a flower, one drew a sun flower in a vase looking out of the window and the other drew a tulip in the hands of a small girl after shaping the piece of paper into a boat… original we were born, but with fear we grew to follow”
Uniqueness and creativity, does not only apply to the arts, as it may seem at a first glance; it also applies to the way we dress, the way we talk and the way we act. Being original may apply to each and every aspect in people’s lives; it may be that common thing in all the identities, that one thing that brings us all together and yet differentiates us all from each other.
The question here is, would people take the risk of being original or would it be easier to follow what have already been successful? Being original does not mean bringing a new thing out of nowhere, as it always comes from a place, but it means developing or treating what is already known to be our own, to have our identity and our originality. The resources could be the same but the product should always be different.
For some reason many, if not all, have been tamed into thinking that following someone else’s original is the right, strong and successful act. This belief’s use may vary, from one person to another, but it is a common viewpoint between many people. We may find it in the way we dress, what we eat, the way we talk, the music we make and listen to, the videos we make and watch, the movies we make and view and even in the way we love.
For some reason the “western” dream became our flawless picture, the aim we try very hard to accomplish. We tend to imitate what’s western to accomplish perfection or gain the admiration of everyone. We gave up our own culture for a new polished one, though our own culture is much older and more authentic than that new one, our culture has been originated before America was even discovered. Walking in the streets or sitting somewhere when you look around, almost everything lacks originality, like it does not have any real taste or direct relation to this culture or to the inner feelings of those people around. Do not misunderstand the words, and think that hatred towards what’s western is what I am calling for, or that I do not admit that they are more improved in many things; not at all, what I call for is taking their improvements and reproducing them but within our own culture, to make them ours. It is easier to just take the thing as it is, and also safer, as adding may not always be successful; but if you taste this success only once you’ll never go back to just taking the thing as it is. Its like buying some fast food and then adding your mums home made pepper like ingredient, would not it taste better.
In defense some may think that we are not up for that, or that we cannot compete. If you come to really think of it you will find that they also took many things from our culture and reproduced it to fit theirs, or tries to make their own versions of it. They loved the belly dancing, built places in the form of the pyramids, Mohamd Mounir’s music is highly appreciated in foreign countries and if try hard enough to think you will find many other examples.
In another defense people might say that in order to be successful here you have to copycat what is western, in order to get the admiration of everyone and especially the “elite”. May be many people tend to deviate towards what is western but this is only because we did not try really hard to produce and defend what is original, and for a matter of fact many people now are deviating back towards originality, towards belly dancing instead of salsa, towards going out in hossein instead of any fancy café and the examples go on and on.
People would think that trying that in a career is a suicidal mission. When talking about a career here the first thing that comes in mind is media and art, and the first example is Shakira. Shakira no matter how different people may get and that some might not think this is a good example, but the reason she succeeded at the beginning was not purely being attractive or the clothes, but it was daring to be different and to be original, she took dancing and music and treated it with her own origins, both from the west and the east and gave us the “Shakira style in dancing”, she made her own statement.
May be the reason behind this dilemma is that we are not that attached to our culture anymore, we do not really know it, due to the fascination of the western we do not get to run into what’s ours as frequent as running into what is western, and may unconsciously we become to think that when producing something that looks western, we are producing something that is stunning and original. Something that is western could be stunning and incredible, but the thing that makes me wonder is that if have enough technicalities to reproduce something that looks as good as the west, cannot we add just a little authentic creativity and make it really as good as the west, or even better, and not only looking as good as them.
For some reason adding some authentic creativity to the thing makes it closer to the heart; it gives a special feeling. That feeling that penetrates through the surface and gives it a soul, it is like its something that can be tasted. It takes the thing from the level of Excellency to the level of originality. To the level of marking history and not only following what have already been marked in history. That feeling of ownership, like it’s yours.
Again I repeat its risky and probably would end up with failure many time before achieving success, but it is definitely worth, its history making. So its either to take the risk and the burden of being authentic and therefore be a truly creative person? Or to simply follow and be a genius in what you chose to follow.
“ Two children were together and each was given a piece of paper and a pencil and asked for a flower, one drew a sun flower in a vase looking out of the window and the other drew a tulip in the hands of a small girl after shaping the piece of paper into a boat… original we were born, but with fear we grew to follow”
Addicted to Egypt
I looked around and saw everyone carin, everyone paying their last piaster to get enough credit to vote.. everyone saying its our degnity.. everyone sayin he has to win.. flyers and ads everywhere....
i looked around and wondered how come everyone cared for the same person..
so ppl said its only cuz they tackled the name of the country... its only a new trend.. the guy is talented... so i looked up and though only if everyday we got an extra ordinary talent and sm1 attacking the country...
I looked around and wondered about that crowd in the street every couple of days, wondered about that crowd in cafes, wondered about how eager we were to follow, how eager we were to support, how eager we were to celebrate and how happy we were with that last minute goal...
I looked around and wondered how for few nights every boarder disappeared, how we all became one person with one dream and one way to achieve it... I looked around and loved the unity....
I looked around and wondered if that is the case then for sure we love this country, then we are one nation, then we sure can do smthn..
and then ppl said its just that we really wanna celebrate anything, thats y we r one unity.. but nthn more.. I looked up and said only if everyday was an african nation cup match in egypt..
I looked around again and fund almost everyone sitting at the same time to eat.. even those who did not have to, most of them did as of respect..
I looked around and wondered about the empty streets, the gathered youth around food tables, the youth in the street with bags of dates or distributing meals.. i looked around around and wondered about my friend who did not have to fast, but did not eat till we all went out for a meal that day..
I looked around and saw everyone helping, everyone caring to get the food to the other, everyone sharing...
and then ppl said, its just the occasions, just those certain hours of the occasions, even in feasts.. its just the unity due to occasions.. and so i looked up and said only if everyday was an occasion...
I looked around and saw everyone feeling sorry.. everyone is sharing condolences and everyone feeling how painful it is to lose a grandson..
ppl said its only human nature to feel sorry for a 12 year old boy and a grandparent and so i looked up and said only if everyday we had a strong human feeling moved...
then the answer came, do not u think our love for this country and the eagerness to share all those moments are enough human feelings to get out unity out of bed everyday..
one we were in different situations and we always said its just this specific situation, though each one is different.. one we are in nature.. but we have to embrace.. each of these situations force me to believe that a change can be done and EGYPT's name can rise higher than ever.. but only if we left the denial aside and admit it.. we are addicted to this country..
its like any drug.. no matter how sick it might get us.. we just love those few seconds of life it gives us...
i looked around and wondered how come everyone cared for the same person..
so ppl said its only cuz they tackled the name of the country... its only a new trend.. the guy is talented... so i looked up and though only if everyday we got an extra ordinary talent and sm1 attacking the country...
I looked around and wondered about that crowd in the street every couple of days, wondered about that crowd in cafes, wondered about how eager we were to follow, how eager we were to support, how eager we were to celebrate and how happy we were with that last minute goal...
I looked around and wondered how for few nights every boarder disappeared, how we all became one person with one dream and one way to achieve it... I looked around and loved the unity....
I looked around and wondered if that is the case then for sure we love this country, then we are one nation, then we sure can do smthn..
and then ppl said its just that we really wanna celebrate anything, thats y we r one unity.. but nthn more.. I looked up and said only if everyday was an african nation cup match in egypt..
I looked around again and fund almost everyone sitting at the same time to eat.. even those who did not have to, most of them did as of respect..
I looked around and wondered about the empty streets, the gathered youth around food tables, the youth in the street with bags of dates or distributing meals.. i looked around around and wondered about my friend who did not have to fast, but did not eat till we all went out for a meal that day..
I looked around and saw everyone helping, everyone caring to get the food to the other, everyone sharing...
and then ppl said, its just the occasions, just those certain hours of the occasions, even in feasts.. its just the unity due to occasions.. and so i looked up and said only if everyday was an occasion...
I looked around and saw everyone feeling sorry.. everyone is sharing condolences and everyone feeling how painful it is to lose a grandson..
ppl said its only human nature to feel sorry for a 12 year old boy and a grandparent and so i looked up and said only if everyday we had a strong human feeling moved...
then the answer came, do not u think our love for this country and the eagerness to share all those moments are enough human feelings to get out unity out of bed everyday..
one we were in different situations and we always said its just this specific situation, though each one is different.. one we are in nature.. but we have to embrace.. each of these situations force me to believe that a change can be done and EGYPT's name can rise higher than ever.. but only if we left the denial aside and admit it.. we are addicted to this country..
its like any drug.. no matter how sick it might get us.. we just love those few seconds of life it gives us...
we had this huge problem.. but no we can not talk about it
The one issue that scares me most in relationships is communication…. Honestly I have never been in a relationship, but for some reason that I do not personally know, my friends, family and even colleagues consider me their “love doctor” the one who would tell them what to do to get things fixed.. And obviously (for some strange reason) I am good at it and things do get fixed at the end… one issue that I never figured out was the lack of communication between couples, whether married, engaged or even only in a relationship.. I personally always dreamt of being able to have an honest conversation with my significant other and to just pass things out, and from the experience in being in the middle of many fights, I can assure that this dream or wish became a solid requirement in any relationship that I am going to go into, at anytime… people say that I am dreaming and there will always be lies, secrets and manipulations, in the “good” sense, to get things done and keep the water running smoothly; and as a very stubborn person I refuse to go with the flow and keep the promise to myself to have honesty as a rule in my coming relationship… And as a result to that promise I opened a blank page in my sketch book and called it “ the no we can not talk about it page” and I started stating the reasons and how I would wish to get them fixed in my fairytale…
• We cannot talk about it because he/she’ll think I love him so much and that I am making fuzz for no reason, yet I hate what he did….
So would I rather have him doing the same mistake again and me hating it, than to tell him how I really feel in a simple objection. I would just hate what he did, keep it inside and make even a bigger fuzz on the next word he tells me, thought it might not deserve a simple objection and not a fuzz.
Or would I rather tell him how I felt, but he’ll think I love him so much and “madlo2a”, but if I do then he would rather know, either to appreciate it and take care of my fragile heart or just break it now and anyways to be hurt early on the road is much better than near the end.
On the other hand, how would I feel if I sensed that he loves me so much and was sensitive about a small thing, would that make him less of a man or something.. May be for some girls, but for me no, I’ll appreciate that golden heart, and again even if I was one of those other girls would I deserve that golden sensitive heart???..
• We cannot talk about it because he/she will make a huge fight and make it seem like my fault and I do not want “waga3 dimagh’”
So if I went to tell him what is on my mind, he will get upset, have a fight and I will have to fix things and apologize later on, though I was only honest.. then no I’ll just let it pass without saying a word..
But I was told before that problems do not go away by themselves and that I can not just fix things by silence, we have to get to talk and he has to get to listen, or else how would we manage the rest of our lives.. Will we always avoid “waga3 2ldimagh” and just be dishonest, then how would we teach that to our kids.
On the other hand if he came and told me something that made me upset or angry, I admit I might make a fight if it deserves, but on the other hand when I calm down I should not wait for an apology and just go talk about it as an adult.
“waga3 2ldimagh” will always be a part of our couples life, we just need to take our spiritual painkiller pills, sit down and try our best to listen and to find the nearest midway solution to things and if not then compromises does not seem bad, as long as it is based on a clear ground.
• We can not talk about it because he/she will not understand..
If he does not understand what is bothering me, then what am I doing here anyways. I am here to explain to him and try to reach him with any possible way and even if at the end he did not get it, then at least he has the honor of trying, listening and feeling.
And if I am the one who is expected to understand, I should try by all possible ways, ask all the questions I need till I get it, and even if I could not I have to make sure to at least feel it.
In a relationship we will not always be clear or able to totally understand each other, but we shall always work on feeling each other.
• We cannot talk about it because talking will not fix what happened, it might even make it worse.
This line is usually said after a fight about something. I do not think my significant other and me will ever understand a fight without hearing both sides out loud and honestly. Whether this fight is huge or small, this should be the way to get rid of it, by talking it away. Either directly after it “2drab 2l7aded w hwa sokhn” or after things calm. This will always depend on the situation and on both of us.
I am sure there so many other situations and I know that this still seems like a dream, but all I have in defense is admitting that I do dream of that life… I know it will never be that simple and that I will have to lie or manipulate some truths and I am sure that I’ll agree for my other half to do so also, but I hope we could minimize that as much as possible, only to keep the aura of our relationship as clear as possible… I think it can be manageable or I hope it can be manageable… As one day when we grow old together, like really old, our words would be the only things we got to offer each other and I do not want us to discover then that we spent our whole love life running away from those words of our own.
….☺
• We cannot talk about it because he/she’ll think I love him so much and that I am making fuzz for no reason, yet I hate what he did….
So would I rather have him doing the same mistake again and me hating it, than to tell him how I really feel in a simple objection. I would just hate what he did, keep it inside and make even a bigger fuzz on the next word he tells me, thought it might not deserve a simple objection and not a fuzz.
Or would I rather tell him how I felt, but he’ll think I love him so much and “madlo2a”, but if I do then he would rather know, either to appreciate it and take care of my fragile heart or just break it now and anyways to be hurt early on the road is much better than near the end.
On the other hand, how would I feel if I sensed that he loves me so much and was sensitive about a small thing, would that make him less of a man or something.. May be for some girls, but for me no, I’ll appreciate that golden heart, and again even if I was one of those other girls would I deserve that golden sensitive heart???..
• We cannot talk about it because he/she will make a huge fight and make it seem like my fault and I do not want “waga3 dimagh’”
So if I went to tell him what is on my mind, he will get upset, have a fight and I will have to fix things and apologize later on, though I was only honest.. then no I’ll just let it pass without saying a word..
But I was told before that problems do not go away by themselves and that I can not just fix things by silence, we have to get to talk and he has to get to listen, or else how would we manage the rest of our lives.. Will we always avoid “waga3 2ldimagh” and just be dishonest, then how would we teach that to our kids.
On the other hand if he came and told me something that made me upset or angry, I admit I might make a fight if it deserves, but on the other hand when I calm down I should not wait for an apology and just go talk about it as an adult.
“waga3 2ldimagh” will always be a part of our couples life, we just need to take our spiritual painkiller pills, sit down and try our best to listen and to find the nearest midway solution to things and if not then compromises does not seem bad, as long as it is based on a clear ground.
• We can not talk about it because he/she will not understand..
If he does not understand what is bothering me, then what am I doing here anyways. I am here to explain to him and try to reach him with any possible way and even if at the end he did not get it, then at least he has the honor of trying, listening and feeling.
And if I am the one who is expected to understand, I should try by all possible ways, ask all the questions I need till I get it, and even if I could not I have to make sure to at least feel it.
In a relationship we will not always be clear or able to totally understand each other, but we shall always work on feeling each other.
• We cannot talk about it because talking will not fix what happened, it might even make it worse.
This line is usually said after a fight about something. I do not think my significant other and me will ever understand a fight without hearing both sides out loud and honestly. Whether this fight is huge or small, this should be the way to get rid of it, by talking it away. Either directly after it “2drab 2l7aded w hwa sokhn” or after things calm. This will always depend on the situation and on both of us.
I am sure there so many other situations and I know that this still seems like a dream, but all I have in defense is admitting that I do dream of that life… I know it will never be that simple and that I will have to lie or manipulate some truths and I am sure that I’ll agree for my other half to do so also, but I hope we could minimize that as much as possible, only to keep the aura of our relationship as clear as possible… I think it can be manageable or I hope it can be manageable… As one day when we grow old together, like really old, our words would be the only things we got to offer each other and I do not want us to discover then that we spent our whole love life running away from those words of our own.
….☺
Sorry Life but I want to LIVE..
at certain moments it may feel like just looking life straight in the eyes and saying.. "i'm sorry but i really want to live"...
this could be my biggest sin and the reason of all my problems with u...
in order to be happy with u.. i should have a good job, get married and have a good life.. i think this is how it all "should" go...
i agree this would be great.. but i want also to live..
i want to have a stable job with a stable income, but won't it be better to have the job i dream of.. and in order to do that i have sometimes to give up that "stability" for prohibition months in another job that might even be the exact one i want... sorry, but i want to live...
I want to be that "respectable"/"descent" person, but i want to go learn "tabla" and play pro one day and also want to learn contemporary dancing and get to do my own musical one day... sorry, but i want to live..
I also want to behave like a girl who is old enough to get married, but could not resist taking that whistling toy in my niece's birthday and play with it... sorry, i know i was the only grown up doing that.. sorry, but i want to live...
I want to meet that one and act like a girl who wants to fall in love.. but i also have no time as i want to build my career, i want to try to take good care of my friends or even c them, i want to c my family.. sorry but i want to live...
I want to behave like a lady who "the one"s parents would like to meet .. but i am not into all that lady look.. i would rather wear my self painted t-shirt... sorry, but i want to live..
i want to fall in love and get married soon.. but i also want to have my own house with a golden retriever and an open space for dancing, music and painting.... sorry, but i want to live..
i want to be a mum and drive my kids to school.. but i am dying to drive a motorcycle one day... sorry, but i want to live..
i want and want and want.. but also, but also and but also...
its so funny how living becomes the one obstacle in wanting to live...
its so funny how complicated it became that living is that different from wanting to live...
i agree that i have to live... but i also have to at least try to live the life i want to live.. that life that i can see and am craving with all my guts...
may be i am wrong and i am giving up life at the exact moment that i think i am wanting to live.
may b i was wrong giving up that secured marriage opportunity for wanting another opportunity that might give me life and not just a wedding ring...
may b i was wrong giving up that secured high salary job for another job that have not even come yet... another job that might give me life and not just few hundreds...
may b i wrong and wrong and wrong...
but also i cannot help it.. I WANT TO LIVE.... even if that craving for life means going against life itself... i am not giving up...
may b life tells me at a moment that i was wrong... but that craving tells me i was never more right.... and even if the situations change later but back then i knew it.. i wanted to live...
sorry life, but i want to live and so i won't stop and just accept not even for u, the one thing i truly crave...
this could be my biggest sin and the reason of all my problems with u...
in order to be happy with u.. i should have a good job, get married and have a good life.. i think this is how it all "should" go...
i agree this would be great.. but i want also to live..
i want to have a stable job with a stable income, but won't it be better to have the job i dream of.. and in order to do that i have sometimes to give up that "stability" for prohibition months in another job that might even be the exact one i want... sorry, but i want to live...
I want to be that "respectable"/"descent" person, but i want to go learn "tabla" and play pro one day and also want to learn contemporary dancing and get to do my own musical one day... sorry, but i want to live..
I also want to behave like a girl who is old enough to get married, but could not resist taking that whistling toy in my niece's birthday and play with it... sorry, i know i was the only grown up doing that.. sorry, but i want to live...
I want to meet that one and act like a girl who wants to fall in love.. but i also have no time as i want to build my career, i want to try to take good care of my friends or even c them, i want to c my family.. sorry but i want to live...
I want to behave like a lady who "the one"s parents would like to meet .. but i am not into all that lady look.. i would rather wear my self painted t-shirt... sorry, but i want to live..
i want to fall in love and get married soon.. but i also want to have my own house with a golden retriever and an open space for dancing, music and painting.... sorry, but i want to live..
i want to be a mum and drive my kids to school.. but i am dying to drive a motorcycle one day... sorry, but i want to live..
i want and want and want.. but also, but also and but also...
its so funny how living becomes the one obstacle in wanting to live...
its so funny how complicated it became that living is that different from wanting to live...
i agree that i have to live... but i also have to at least try to live the life i want to live.. that life that i can see and am craving with all my guts...
may be i am wrong and i am giving up life at the exact moment that i think i am wanting to live.
may b i was wrong giving up that secured marriage opportunity for wanting another opportunity that might give me life and not just a wedding ring...
may b i was wrong giving up that secured high salary job for another job that have not even come yet... another job that might give me life and not just few hundreds...
may b i wrong and wrong and wrong...
but also i cannot help it.. I WANT TO LIVE.... even if that craving for life means going against life itself... i am not giving up...
may b life tells me at a moment that i was wrong... but that craving tells me i was never more right.... and even if the situations change later but back then i knew it.. i wanted to live...
sorry life, but i want to live and so i won't stop and just accept not even for u, the one thing i truly crave...
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