my first trial in digital painting.. just paying around... using iphone colors... :)
in love... or dreaming
my first trial in digital painting.. just paying around... using iphone colors... :)
Exit/Fit video
Mixed Media Project... with almost no experience.. and done in only one day...
and an attempt to see how animation go from real paintings with noooooo idea how it should actually be done... ;)
The Should and the should not
A Mixed Media short film , that I made with no former experience and very short time for the due date. ;).
In life people around us tend to tell us what should and should not be done, limiting our lives, the thing is if we stopped to look will find that most of the times those telling us should and should not are the closest to us, while we expect them to be the ones who set us free.
Filmed and edited in 2 days or even a day and a half, with a first time to use everything, the camera, the editing program and everything. ():)
i have a dream of mixing painting with real footage ... i am just crazy :)
religion is between a person and GOD... enough said
i'm wondering wut happened to the phrase "2ldeen lil ALLAH"... or that religion is a thing between a person and GOD.. i've been running to all those groups against veil or "niqab", or others totally with and how a good muslim gurl should not put a profile pic. and all those stuff.. and it just got me wondering y does it have to be either that or this... and y do we have to move in a general rule.. y does this group should say things that hurt a gurl who is veiled or wearing niqb and y does the other should hurt people not wearing it... y cant we just live and let others live.. i admit it i get sad when sm1 i know takes off her veil, just cuz i think its a nice thing and i think its a loss to take it off... but its still the same person and if i luv her, i luv her... its between her and GOD i'm sure she has her reasons and i hope that GOD will accept them and 4give.. may b even she's a better person from inside than any other person, u never know. this also implies on sm1 who's not veiled from the beginning.. on the other hand i have a personal issue with niqab, just cuz i get phobic when i see lots of black around me, i just lose concentration and get a short breath, but at the same time under it there could b a gr8 person whose convinced that its the right thing and doing it for GOD, so y should we attack that person.. she's giving up a huge thing to please GOD and at the same time she accepts me so y should not i accept her... only GOD knows wuts right and wuts wrong.. a person is not what they wear.. i can't say i'm a religious person, or either that i am properly veiled, but i do wut i can or wut i feel is right ..and think that as long as i am tryin to b good 4m the inside then i am on the safe side, may b i am wrong, u never know..... "2inma 2l23mal blniat"... i know sm people won't like my words and think i should defend religion more than that, but i just chose to remember that "2ldeen mo3amla", we r "deen 2lsalam" and last "2ldeen lilALLAH".. dnt judge its not our job, GOD is the only judge when it comes to religion.. we'll never know who is right or wrong till judgment day... there are some certainties but even then GOD 4give, even a person who we c as leadin a very wrong path, GOD has enough mercy to grant him peace & heaven if HE thinks that that person deserves it... people deserve it due to the purity of the inside and their efforts to be good (not only in wut they wear, but in many many other aspects)...
this is just my opinnion and had to let it out b4 i explode... thnxx
this is just my opinnion and had to let it out b4 i explode... thnxx
i just felt that had to say...
It’s Thursday. December 25, 2008… 11:30 PM
I do not know why tonight and why do I have that much feeling within me tonight.. For the first time I just can’t hold myself… I am keeping myself from telling you this face to face with all the power I got… I am keeping myself cuz I do not wanna lose u… I’m never going to lose u, cuz I just can’t….
Tonight I wanna tell you smthings
I do not know why but I felt that I have to say I love you…
I have to say that when a day goes by without knowing anything about you I die..
I have to say that you mean the world to me..
I was listening to that song on my way home when the singer was sayin smthn like, if u r depressed or down then wut is my function in life and I just felt like I should be saying this to u..
I wanna tell you much more but just can’t write may b if I could just let my eyes open up into urs…
Tonight I wanna tell u I love u, lay into ur arms and sleep..
I wann tell u I love u close my eyes and smile…
I wanna tell u I love u and just see my smile in ur eyes…
Tonight I wish I could say I love u and hear it back from u…
Tonight I wanna thank u 4 being the best thing in my life…
May b u r not my bf, may b u r not my present and may b u won’t b my future…
But u r the one who made me really say I love u…
I want to thank u for being u and for making me who I am…
May b u don’t know all this… but I know it and that’s enough for me…
May be tomorrow you won’t be around, may be tomorrow I won’t be around, may b tomorrow I’ll surrender to being with sm1 else as I am not with you.. I don’t know wut exactly will tomorrow bring and I surely hope it will bring us closer.. but all I know is that:
tonight I feel like I have to tell you
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU
And more importantly tonight and every night I wish you the best ever…
I do not know why tonight and why do I have that much feeling within me tonight.. For the first time I just can’t hold myself… I am keeping myself from telling you this face to face with all the power I got… I am keeping myself cuz I do not wanna lose u… I’m never going to lose u, cuz I just can’t….
Tonight I wanna tell you smthings
I do not know why but I felt that I have to say I love you…
I have to say that when a day goes by without knowing anything about you I die..
I have to say that you mean the world to me..
I was listening to that song on my way home when the singer was sayin smthn like, if u r depressed or down then wut is my function in life and I just felt like I should be saying this to u..
I wanna tell you much more but just can’t write may b if I could just let my eyes open up into urs…
Tonight I wanna tell u I love u, lay into ur arms and sleep..
I wann tell u I love u close my eyes and smile…
I wanna tell u I love u and just see my smile in ur eyes…
Tonight I wish I could say I love u and hear it back from u…
Tonight I wanna thank u 4 being the best thing in my life…
May b u r not my bf, may b u r not my present and may b u won’t b my future…
But u r the one who made me really say I love u…
I want to thank u for being u and for making me who I am…
May b u don’t know all this… but I know it and that’s enough for me…
May be tomorrow you won’t be around, may be tomorrow I won’t be around, may b tomorrow I’ll surrender to being with sm1 else as I am not with you.. I don’t know wut exactly will tomorrow bring and I surely hope it will bring us closer.. but all I know is that:
tonight I feel like I have to tell you
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU
And more importantly tonight and every night I wish you the best ever…
To My Future Husband… whoever He is
Although i dnt even have a b.f. yet, i am already apologizing.. i am sorry 4 all the hard time i am gonna give u.. i am sorry 4 freaking out, every time we just quarrel.. i am sorry i am so scared of even thinkin of quarreling.. i am sorry 4 bein scared of startin a relationship cuz it might end.. i am sorry i might act crazy cuz i am scared.. but believe me its not my fault that i am scared... i am just a normal little gurl who grew up in the 1990's and 2000's.. the time that u rarely find a happy couple... the time when divorce is a very normal word.. the time when u cant find a home with no fighting parents.. the time when all sorts of couples are unhappy, whether married/engaged/committed and even open relationships.. time when girls and boys seek marriage but once they get there they start missing the "single" times..time of youth who grew up cherishing love,, but never found that fairytale kind of it that they have cherished.. time of mislead youth... i'm sorry i have a fragile heart that got scared.. i am sorry u'll have to do much effort to assure me so as not to run.. i am sorry i'll have the will to run and run very fast, cuz i'll b runnin 4 my life... i am sorry that i might push u away with all the force i got, like i did and still do with every guy who likes me .. i am sorry u'll have to tolerate all this... i'm sorry i grew up in the time of "quarrel love" and not the "fairytale love"..:)
I'm this and that
I know that taking off my veil might make u view me in a different way... may b u’ll love me more…
I know that my dream is even farther with my veil on…
I know that a veiled girl learning to dance, wanting to dance and to do a musical is hard…
I know that many ppl keep some distance till they know me better just cause I cover my hair…
I know I am not properly veiled and that the way I dress is many times impropriate for veil..
I know…. I know and I know… loadz of reasons loads of fights in my head…
But I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE IT OFF..
I admit that many times I do not behave according to it, but at least its something that I can do…
It is not that I look better this way, its that I feel happy wearing it..
I see myself achieving my dreams with the cover my head.. Yes I want to do my musical with the cover on my head, its hard but I wish that ppl would wake up smday and not keep the distance cuz of the way other ppl, dress, look or talk…
I do not want to think each and every time before I act in life …
I agree a veiled girl should respect wut she’s wearing but isn’t she allowed to dream also…
I dream, I dream of falling in love purely, I dream of doing a great Egyptian musical screenplay one day, I dream of an artistic screenplay, I dream of people recognizing the difference in both my characters the one in life and the one who wants heaven one day may be.. I dream of a lot of things and I see my self achieving them in my veil and only I my veil…
Even if it would make you all feel better if I took it off, it won’t make me, cuz I wanna be with it on.. I know that to do these stuff I’ll even be more hated, I know that its not just an outfit, but its an attitude.. it is my attitude in wut I do and who I am.. in trying not to lie, not to be evil, not to jurdge, not to deceive and not to hate…
I admit I might be wrong in wut I dream of or in wut I want to do.. may be they do not go together… but they are both me… I find myself in both and taking one from me would just kill me…so as I said I don’t care, I just don’t… I’m this and that… full stop.
I know that my dream is even farther with my veil on…
I know that a veiled girl learning to dance, wanting to dance and to do a musical is hard…
I know that many ppl keep some distance till they know me better just cause I cover my hair…
I know I am not properly veiled and that the way I dress is many times impropriate for veil..
I know…. I know and I know… loadz of reasons loads of fights in my head…
But I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE IT OFF..
I admit that many times I do not behave according to it, but at least its something that I can do…
It is not that I look better this way, its that I feel happy wearing it..
I see myself achieving my dreams with the cover my head.. Yes I want to do my musical with the cover on my head, its hard but I wish that ppl would wake up smday and not keep the distance cuz of the way other ppl, dress, look or talk…
I do not want to think each and every time before I act in life …
I agree a veiled girl should respect wut she’s wearing but isn’t she allowed to dream also…
I dream, I dream of falling in love purely, I dream of doing a great Egyptian musical screenplay one day, I dream of an artistic screenplay, I dream of people recognizing the difference in both my characters the one in life and the one who wants heaven one day may be.. I dream of a lot of things and I see my self achieving them in my veil and only I my veil…
Even if it would make you all feel better if I took it off, it won’t make me, cuz I wanna be with it on.. I know that to do these stuff I’ll even be more hated, I know that its not just an outfit, but its an attitude.. it is my attitude in wut I do and who I am.. in trying not to lie, not to be evil, not to jurdge, not to deceive and not to hate…
I admit I might be wrong in wut I dream of or in wut I want to do.. may be they do not go together… but they are both me… I find myself in both and taking one from me would just kill me…so as I said I don’t care, I just don’t… I’m this and that… full stop.
We have a nice jewelry shop down our street...
We have a nice jewelry shop down our street, I used to pass by that shop almost everyday… each time the sales person changed, he changed the stuff put out for the public to see behind the glass of the display window… sometimes I liked what they displayed other times the sales people try to convince me to buy stuff I did not want… recently the sales person changed and he put a necklace in the display window, first I did not notice, then one day the sales person said hi and the second day a friend of mine told me did u see that necklace it would look great on you… so I noticed the necklace and I admit that I started to like it and started to think of having it, but I did not go inside the shop to buy… I spent some days just looking at it through the display window.. Each and everyday I stopped on my way just to look at it, to get to know if it would fit… the sales person watched me everyday look at the necklace.. One day, when I was thinking of taking the action of buying it, the sales person came suddenly out of the store and told me that the necklace had someone’s name carved on it in one of the joints… I was totally chocked, how come I did not see that name, I looked at it very carefully… I went back outside and looked at it again and funny enough I could not see the name…. I walked back home wondering how come I did not see the name?... how come the sales person never told me that there’s a name on it?... what did he want me to do, did he expect me to ask him to change the name for me? But I could never do that; if it belongs to sm1 else then I have no right to ask for it... did he expect to cry for the necklace? I would not do that, specially not in front of him.. Was his intentions that I just enter the shop and may be then I would buy something else?.. May be the sales person felt that I was going to buy it and he did not want to let go of it, so he lied? But why I would have taken good care of it.. Or may be he did not notice my interest in the necklace from the beginning? And he just thought that I was interested in something else in the shop? But if someone is looking at a certain necklace why would she buy something else... but even if how come I never saw the carvings on the necklace… I am almost sure that it does not have a name… may be it does and I just did not notice… there’s something missing… I just do not understand, I am sure that there’s something missing… May be there is not and it is all just a misunderstanding… may be I just have to decide what I am going to do about it.. Whether just not to pass by that shop anymore, or should I pass by it like any other shop in the street and never give that necklace any attention again, or should I just turn back and enter the shop and scream at the sales person “what!!”.. Sometimes I wish people believed in honesty just as I did, all my troubles would have been washed away due to that…I do not know but yet I think there’s something missing..
Bitinganania .. My world
i wanna fall in luv with a "bitingan" person..:D...this is the word i reached at the end after a conversation about my dream guy... yesss my dream guy is a bitingan, just like me...so to my bitingan half where ever you are here's my wish list from u and wut i ofer u as a bitingana gurl...lol
to A bitingan guy
Before being officially together, I want you to come to me with roses and just tell me directly that u like me and wants us to try to be together, cuz you know that i won't get any signs...
i want you to tell me that u love without leaving me around wondering whether you do or not and at the same time know i need you to tell me just cuz i luv u enough to know that having you is a miracle and a dream that i need to make sure its true each and every second..
i want u to take me 2 dancin lessons and at the same time give me a missed when we wake to pray fajr..
i want u to hold me when i most need u to, or in photos and esp. when we run into one of ur ex.s, but in normal times keep it normal and keep in mind that i'm not an easy gurl in anyway...
i want u to let me give u a hug when i most want to, but never wonder y i did or if i should have done it..cuz u know i'll be wondering enough for both of us and thinkin a million times...
i also want u to come and assure me that u know i luv u and feel safe with u and that u luv me more than anythin in the world..
i want u to take me runnin in the rain and singing and at the same time call me the next mornin to wish me luck in my work (college)..
i want u to take me to formal occasions, but let me wear the least formal i can wear, cuz u just know that i cant handle it...
i wanna b able to fall asleep if we are sitting on the beach or smthn, knowin that u will put ur jacket over my shoulders to keep me 4m gettin cold and will just look at me as if i am ur daughter and u wanna keep me safe 4m everythin
let me cry the night over a simple mistake at work and call me next morning to tell me that i am gonna do awesome at work 2day and how yesterday's mistake has passed...
I want you to get me a fanous each and every ramdan and let me cook u iftar at least once, even if it would be the worst meal ever...
as a bitingana gurl
i'll let u flirt with gurls, its normal, but b sure it will never pass flirting limits...
i'll always remind that i luv u more than anythin, but also will always remind u that the day u dnt luv me bk u r free to go...
i'll let u go on guyz nights out with out any disturbing phone calls, but would luv if u disturb me on my gurls night out with a nice miss u msg or phone call..
i wont fight over stuff, i'll just mumble a little and then talk sanely about it...
i'll always give u the most prestigious look in front of everyone, but will expect u to give the ultimate trust between us...
i will stop any guy who flirts with me even for a second and will remind them immediately that i have a man, but at the same time i get to keep my best male friends..
i'll never (almost never) tell ppl (esp. mum) if u did hurt me by anyway or did anythin wrong,, but at the same time expect the hugest fuss if the trust or the respect line between us was once broken..
I will always respect your friendship with girls, even bestfrnds, and will never interfere or even get jealous, but at the the same time i have to know i have a special and unique placement in your heart and life ...
in bitinganania world
we dnt judge ppl from the outside... we c how they r with us and try 2 c their inside...
we trust each other more than anythin else and are honest with each other to the utmost limits...
we care about each other enough to set each other free and fly side by side, by choice not by leash...
each person does what he/she wants, as long as they feel its right and its comin from their heart... they dnt fear ppl judgin or the "norm standards"...
there are no "norm" standards, there are only "heart and guts" standards..we dnt do smthn cuz ppl wants us to.. we only do that for sm1 we luv or care about.. even then we r crazy enough to think if they luv us, they'll accept us...;)
these are wut i can think of right now,,, will be addin to this list constantly.. (and yeah when it comes to romance i still live in disney world ;))
to A bitingan guy
Before being officially together, I want you to come to me with roses and just tell me directly that u like me and wants us to try to be together, cuz you know that i won't get any signs...
i want you to tell me that u love without leaving me around wondering whether you do or not and at the same time know i need you to tell me just cuz i luv u enough to know that having you is a miracle and a dream that i need to make sure its true each and every second..
i want u to take me 2 dancin lessons and at the same time give me a missed when we wake to pray fajr..
i want u to hold me when i most need u to, or in photos and esp. when we run into one of ur ex.s, but in normal times keep it normal and keep in mind that i'm not an easy gurl in anyway...
i want u to let me give u a hug when i most want to, but never wonder y i did or if i should have done it..cuz u know i'll be wondering enough for both of us and thinkin a million times...
i also want u to come and assure me that u know i luv u and feel safe with u and that u luv me more than anythin in the world..
i want u to take me runnin in the rain and singing and at the same time call me the next mornin to wish me luck in my work (college)..
i want u to take me to formal occasions, but let me wear the least formal i can wear, cuz u just know that i cant handle it...
i wanna b able to fall asleep if we are sitting on the beach or smthn, knowin that u will put ur jacket over my shoulders to keep me 4m gettin cold and will just look at me as if i am ur daughter and u wanna keep me safe 4m everythin
let me cry the night over a simple mistake at work and call me next morning to tell me that i am gonna do awesome at work 2day and how yesterday's mistake has passed...
I want you to get me a fanous each and every ramdan and let me cook u iftar at least once, even if it would be the worst meal ever...
as a bitingana gurl
i'll let u flirt with gurls, its normal, but b sure it will never pass flirting limits...
i'll always remind that i luv u more than anythin, but also will always remind u that the day u dnt luv me bk u r free to go...
i'll let u go on guyz nights out with out any disturbing phone calls, but would luv if u disturb me on my gurls night out with a nice miss u msg or phone call..
i wont fight over stuff, i'll just mumble a little and then talk sanely about it...
i'll always give u the most prestigious look in front of everyone, but will expect u to give the ultimate trust between us...
i will stop any guy who flirts with me even for a second and will remind them immediately that i have a man, but at the same time i get to keep my best male friends..
i'll never (almost never) tell ppl (esp. mum) if u did hurt me by anyway or did anythin wrong,, but at the same time expect the hugest fuss if the trust or the respect line between us was once broken..
I will always respect your friendship with girls, even bestfrnds, and will never interfere or even get jealous, but at the the same time i have to know i have a special and unique placement in your heart and life ...
in bitinganania world
we dnt judge ppl from the outside... we c how they r with us and try 2 c their inside...
we trust each other more than anythin else and are honest with each other to the utmost limits...
we care about each other enough to set each other free and fly side by side, by choice not by leash...
each person does what he/she wants, as long as they feel its right and its comin from their heart... they dnt fear ppl judgin or the "norm standards"...
there are no "norm" standards, there are only "heart and guts" standards..we dnt do smthn cuz ppl wants us to.. we only do that for sm1 we luv or care about.. even then we r crazy enough to think if they luv us, they'll accept us...;)
these are wut i can think of right now,,, will be addin to this list constantly.. (and yeah when it comes to romance i still live in disney world ;))
I do/say, wut I do/say, cuz I love u and never cuz I want you to love me
i watched a friend of mine do different stuff for that guy... they were just friends but i never understood from where did she get the will to care that much.. i heard people asking her different time "do u luv him that much?"... her answer was always "we're just friends.. he is not mine and as long as he is not, then i do not luv him... the luv i carry in my heart is only destined for that person i'll spend the rest of my life with" and she smiled.. she always smiled when we talked about that guy... so one night i was sleeping over at my friend's place and i woke up around 3 am and sat down doing nothin.. i looked at my friend and found the same smile on her face.. the next morning when we woke up my first question was "did u have nice dreams?"... she said " yup.. it was a good sleep"... i smiled and looked at my friend reminding her that i have known her since we both knew no one else but ourselves.. she was the first person i opened to and talked to.. the first person i dreamt with.. i knew her more than anyone else... i told her that she have changed... i have seen her around zillions of guys but it was never like this one and i could bet with my life that she was dreaming about him last night and that for the first time she's not telling me the truth... my friend said may be i have changed, may be i have never been like this before... but the thing is i am not lying to u... its true that i believe wut i have always believed in "u can not luv who is not urs and that the luv in ur heart is only destined for one person, and since he's not mine then the discussion ended, we're friends and i respect the parameters we both did"... so i looked at her questioning "so y r u doing all this if u r not trying to win him, if u r respecting the parameters?"... my friend smiled and told me that she'll explain to me as if i am him... with that most innocent smile on her face she said... :
" I do wut i do cuz it makes me feel better and not cuz i want u to feel me..
i say wut i say, cuz i want to say it and not cuz i want u to hear it...
i wanna make sure that u r ok, cuz i care and not cuz i want u to feel that care...
i smile at u, cuz i want to c u smile back and not cuz i want u to fall in luv with my smile..
i say thank u cuz i want u to say u r welcome and not cuz i want u to think i am polite..
i want to do u all the best, cuz i feel good this way and not cuz i want u to think that i am angle....
I do/say wut i do/say, cuz i love you and never cuz i want you to love me"
"I swear i do not know why.... but thats it... I swear I am respecting all the parameters.. but sometimes this is just it... i know that wutever tomorrow brings things between us will always be this way... even if i find another man who is the one destined for all the love in my heart... things will always be this way... for me it is much bigger than u can comprehend my dearest friend"...
looking at my friend with a big smile on my own face.. i could do nothing but hug her.. and never question about that friend of hers again... as i admit it is much bigger than i can ever comprehend... :)
" I do wut i do cuz it makes me feel better and not cuz i want u to feel me..
i say wut i say, cuz i want to say it and not cuz i want u to hear it...
i wanna make sure that u r ok, cuz i care and not cuz i want u to feel that care...
i smile at u, cuz i want to c u smile back and not cuz i want u to fall in luv with my smile..
i say thank u cuz i want u to say u r welcome and not cuz i want u to think i am polite..
i want to do u all the best, cuz i feel good this way and not cuz i want u to think that i am angle....
I do/say wut i do/say, cuz i love you and never cuz i want you to love me"
"I swear i do not know why.... but thats it... I swear I am respecting all the parameters.. but sometimes this is just it... i know that wutever tomorrow brings things between us will always be this way... even if i find another man who is the one destined for all the love in my heart... things will always be this way... for me it is much bigger than u can comprehend my dearest friend"...
looking at my friend with a big smile on my own face.. i could do nothing but hug her.. and never question about that friend of hers again... as i admit it is much bigger than i can ever comprehend... :)
Gratitude..
I was at my friend's place a couple of days ago, i was just passing by to take smthn, i stayed for like half an hour. she had a religious program running on tv. It was talking about gratitude/ “الحمد لله" . They said that we lost our gratitude once we question what we're going through. like when you say “why is this happening to me?” or “اشمعني آنا يا ربي" . This is when everything goes wrong, cuz you have just put urself in a position of questioning, but questioning who “ The Divine” “الله" who for sure you can not be questioning. Then they were explaining the phrase “انا لله و انا اليه راجعون" , we usually here this phrase in funerals or death situations, though it is not only for that. it talks about everything we are and everything we have, its all GOD's property and HE shall give and take from it as HE wants and we should not question. Its like you are given smthn/sm1 to just keep and then you are asked to give it back so would do without arguing as u've never actually owned it. That's the thing, even if you are talking about something that you want really hard but you are not receiving, you can not say “y me, y aren't i receiving this?, is smthn wrong with me?” you can not question cuz only THE OWNER of the property chooses to give it or not, you can only ask politely and more importantly be grateful for all the things that HE have trusted you to keep. :)
Honestly i was one of the people who questioned “y me? or y not me?” smtimes when i was down, I have always know that GOD does everything for the best, but just wanted to understand smthngs. After hearing those words i just knew that i was not supposed to understand/ question or even think about this.. I should just enjoy and take care of the property i am trusted to keep and give thanks for them. and more importantly be grateful.. :D.. so during my last prayer at the day i asked GOD to forgive me for the wrong that i've done and i promised to never do it again or at least try my best not to “توبه"...since the next morning i felt that i was a much happier and beter person and learned to say (especially when a gloomy thought comes to mind) “الحمد لله و انا لله و انا اليه راجعون".... :D... Thank GOD
Honestly i was one of the people who questioned “y me? or y not me?” smtimes when i was down, I have always know that GOD does everything for the best, but just wanted to understand smthngs. After hearing those words i just knew that i was not supposed to understand/ question or even think about this.. I should just enjoy and take care of the property i am trusted to keep and give thanks for them. and more importantly be grateful.. :D.. so during my last prayer at the day i asked GOD to forgive me for the wrong that i've done and i promised to never do it again or at least try my best not to “توبه"...since the next morning i felt that i was a much happier and beter person and learned to say (especially when a gloomy thought comes to mind) “الحمد لله و انا لله و انا اليه راجعون".... :D... Thank GOD
Congrats on losing one who luvs u more than themselves..
a girl passed by a puppy shop each and everyday... she saw that very cute puppy that she really liked, back then her cat had left the house, so she thought why do not i buy that puppy, so she walked home to get the money and this is when she saw her cate waiting for her with eyes full of tears so she took her cat back in and logically she can not have both, so she decided to stay with the cat and that its enough to play with the dog when she walks down the street.. by time she really liked the dog and wished to take it home, each and every time the cat snuck out of the house she walks down to the pet shop to buy the dog, but each and every time the cat came back and she took him back cuz its her cat and she just can not let it go, she luvs it... the girl could not decide which one she really luvs and wants to own so she kept the situation as it is... thinking that she now owns the world, the proud of themselves cat and the most luving puppy are both around... till one day when the girl was walking down by the pet shop she did not find the puppy and before she even askd the pet shop owner said that her puppy ran out of the cage and the shop.. sm wind opened his door and he just ran away... after a couple of silent moments the owner said, i've known this puppy for a while and saw in his eyes and the movement of his tail since u've known him more than u can imagine..
this puppy luvs u more than anything in the whole world...
i've never seen him happier than those few moments u spent with him...
he even convinced himself that those moments where enough to keep him alive...
he thought about those seconds the whole day...
he cried his guts out each time he felt any sorrow around u..
he went crazy if u were late for 5 seconds than the time u should pass by...
he wanted to protect u with all he could... and even with more than he could..
he felt the difference in ur treatment when u r happy with ur cat and when ur cat left and u were about to buy him... each and every time u were taking that decision he felt it.. each and every time he was around the stars when u were going to buy him and he thought finally.. and each and every time a second later u decided to stay with the cat and he was about to die...
he tried to leave many times, but just could not, he really luvs u... but unfortunately he just could not take it...
i'll tell u a secret i opened the door for him...he had to leave.. he was too precious for wut was going on.. he deserved a much more stable situation than this.. he deserved that u luv him for true.. may be he was convincing himself that this was more than enough.. he thought that those seconds were more precious than life and that ur look was more precious than anyone else buying him.. he only wanted u to be his owner but i could not stand here and c him giving up his precious heart away like this... i dnt know if he'll b capable of doing that or he'll miss u again tomorrow and come back to his cage just to see u...
u could not decide and now he's gone, my b u dnt feel it, may b u won't regret, i'm sure that ur cat is enough as u chose him over the puppy many times.. but trust me i'm sorry for u, for losing all that amount of luv.. may b ur cat gives u wuts more or may be not... it does not differ anymore cuz my puppy is no longer a choice in ur hand.. now the only choice u got is ur cat or a totally new pet, wutever option u go wiz, u just lost the Puppy.
congrats on losing one who luvs u more than themselves.. you should thank yourself for being hesitant... :)
this puppy luvs u more than anything in the whole world...
i've never seen him happier than those few moments u spent with him...
he even convinced himself that those moments where enough to keep him alive...
he thought about those seconds the whole day...
he cried his guts out each time he felt any sorrow around u..
he went crazy if u were late for 5 seconds than the time u should pass by...
he wanted to protect u with all he could... and even with more than he could..
he felt the difference in ur treatment when u r happy with ur cat and when ur cat left and u were about to buy him... each and every time u were taking that decision he felt it.. each and every time he was around the stars when u were going to buy him and he thought finally.. and each and every time a second later u decided to stay with the cat and he was about to die...
he tried to leave many times, but just could not, he really luvs u... but unfortunately he just could not take it...
i'll tell u a secret i opened the door for him...he had to leave.. he was too precious for wut was going on.. he deserved a much more stable situation than this.. he deserved that u luv him for true.. may be he was convincing himself that this was more than enough.. he thought that those seconds were more precious than life and that ur look was more precious than anyone else buying him.. he only wanted u to be his owner but i could not stand here and c him giving up his precious heart away like this... i dnt know if he'll b capable of doing that or he'll miss u again tomorrow and come back to his cage just to see u...
u could not decide and now he's gone, my b u dnt feel it, may b u won't regret, i'm sure that ur cat is enough as u chose him over the puppy many times.. but trust me i'm sorry for u, for losing all that amount of luv.. may b ur cat gives u wuts more or may be not... it does not differ anymore cuz my puppy is no longer a choice in ur hand.. now the only choice u got is ur cat or a totally new pet, wutever option u go wiz, u just lost the Puppy.
congrats on losing one who luvs u more than themselves.. you should thank yourself for being hesitant... :)
Landscape
Mixed Media on paper, but fixed on canvas.
A usual landscape but cut into different blocks and each is done individually in a different medium on paper.
watercolor, oil pastel, charcoal, colored pencils, usual graphite pencils, ink.
100*70 cm
Price of Freedom
Acrylic on Canvas.
50*70 cm each.
Freedom is not an easy thing, you pay a lot, but you get to be on the other side at the end of the fight, no matter how much it hurts.
Own Life
Mixed media on canvas.
Acrylic Paint, oild pastels, soft pastels, colored pencils and water color.
30*50 cm
Portrait smile :)
A dear friend and brother allowed me to do a woodcut print of his photo, taking the risk of losing any possible features of his face..lol... of course not too accurate but good enough.. ;)
Fit/Exit
We tend to make ourselves fit into our own bubble; while getting out of it the surroundings tend to scream. Though we're only exiting to look "normal" in the room that almost everyone is fitting in. Our reality is actually outside that room, in the actual green.
Acrylic on Canvas.
50*70 cm
21*21 cm each one of the four.
The Mirror
Acrylic on Canvas
100*100 cm
Awards: Spring 08/ State of the Art exhibition - Honorable Mention Award
One in a Million
Though it seems hard, or might feel like a misfit, but for sure having an identity is the best thing ever. It is the essence of living ; it is being One in a Million.
Acrylic and Watercolor on Canvas
50*70 cm each.
My Mirror
A Mixed Media drawing on canvas. Charcoal, pencil, watercolor, ink and oil pastels on canvas.
1.50*100 cm
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